People who can’t admit fault can’t learn from their mistakes. They believe they were a great parent and that the issue is with you. Quite simply, the grandparent is incapable of reflecting on their flaws and wrongdoings. Whenever you bring up painful moments from your childhood, the grandparent gaslights you by saying: “I don’t remember that,” or “You always exaggerate!” Denying Having Made Any Parenting Mistakes “Parents delegate authority to the grandparent, not the other way around.”Ģ. Lane Tanner, M.D., at the University of California-San Francisco. “The grandparent’s role is not to challenge but to fit in with the family culture,” says J. This type of behavior is a breach of trust and one of the things grandparents should never do. In their eyes, since they have seniority and experience raising children, they always know best, and no one can tell them otherwise. When it comes to food restrictions, bedtime, screen time, or any other rules you have for your child, a toxic grandparent doesn’t accept your parental authority. Here are 10 signs that you might be dealing with a difficult grandparent. They are manipulative, controlling, self-serving individuals who can do a lot of damage if not kept in check. So they are often perceived as harmless old folks who love to spoil their grandkids. It’s even worse when grandparents are involved.Īs a culture, we place importance on having an extended family, and grandparents are a big part of that.
If you ever dated a jerk, you know that people are quick to tell you to “dump his sorry ass.”īut if a family member is mistreating you, they say: “Just brush it off.”
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